My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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