Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
