2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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