my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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