I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Your shirt... Was in my pants
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
