So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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