We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
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The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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