Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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