So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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