Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
