what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
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Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
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Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
I'm always down for nudity.
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