finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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