I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Life is so much better after having sex.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
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