Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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