Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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