just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Can I color on your dick again?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
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