You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
