So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
