Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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