like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
