just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
