Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
