all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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