UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Randomize
