I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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