mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
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