So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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