hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
