I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
