I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
