Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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