I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Non-Jews are for practice
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
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