saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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