the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
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