I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
