This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
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