Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
