He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Randomize
