I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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