Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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