just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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