You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
