Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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