Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Randomize
