hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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