The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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