He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
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He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
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He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
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