4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
