dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
