I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
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