Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
