I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize