I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
