im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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