If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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