i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
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i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
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I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
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