My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
