Nicole vs. Life
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
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I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
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I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
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