so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize