Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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