just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Farmville is her only friend.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Randomize
